_

The Official History of Dan Winfield's Mon-key

Here you go...it's long but entertaining.....took me 17 hours to do...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
originally posted to the Rec.Models.Scale newsgroup Nov 14/98
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have taken it upon myself to go through between 500 to 1000 posts
to select a tiny portion to explain who Mon-key is and when he first
appeared. As well I will include mostly posts from our very own Dan
Winfield, who is one of the most entertaining people on RMS (in my humble
opinion). Don't underestimate the value of useless (non-model related)
and humorous threads. These sort of entertaining threads are the
reason why many RMS'ers tune in each day. There are serious folks at
RMS and you can just delete this post right now and get back to what
you were doing...for the rest of you...the history lesson begins now.
Well, we all know about Dan Winfield and his Mon-key and the crotch
grabbing done by Mon-key and Dans' opinion of the Williams Bros. B-10,
but have you ever wondered what the first post/thread was that these
items were mentioned? Read on...it's long but the dates and names are
all there. I didn't even come close to including all the posts
mentioning Mon-key or crotch grabbing or the W.B. B-10.....instead I
focused on Dan's posts and only included other peoples posts if they
had a very direct bearing on Dan's post. I focused on Dan for the
reason that Mon-key and crotch grabbing and the B-10 are his and it
only makes sense to follow his posts on those topics. Sorry it's
long, but it's a big story.
Enjoy!!!
Steve Bamford

This first post was Dan's 4th post and it was a thread he started
himself.
Titled Worst kit ever attempted:Not completed
Date:1996/07/26

In my own personal opinion it has to be the William's Martin B-10B.
It was a mess, I still open the box and shudder. then slam it shut.

"A fanatic is one who cannot change his
mind and refuses to change the subject."

Winston Churchill
Dan
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some one by the name of Eduardo Mitchell had to disagree....I wonder
if Eduardo knew what Dan would become in this Newsgroup?
Date:1996/07/26

You're crazy!! it's a fairly good model; I don't think you've built
too many models if you really mean that...

cheers, Eduardo Mitchell
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott Van Aken wrote:
I built the B-10 a number of years ago and did not find it too bad.
I mean, I completed it and it did take an award in OOTB at an IPMS
contest. I have only not completed one kit....Heller's 1/72 P-36.
It had a nice prop.
Scott

---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
RAY MEHLBERGER jumped in to Dan's defense
Date:1996/07/31
I don't think any of Williams Bros. kits are made to fall together in
the box. All of them need "tweeking" here and there to build.
Especially when the kit contains several variants that you can
accomplish. I personally don't care for a kit that clicks together
without some extra effort. By the same token I don't like a kit that
is a piece of @#$%. However, I've never seen too much wrong with
Wiliams Bros. kits. What did you find so bad about the B-10?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Now we come to the first of a chain of posts that begins to introduce
Mon-key....take careful notice of the line about "it's time to Dance"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Re: Sex and models
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/09/19

Sexism and modeler's:

Well, I for one would treat a woman better than the average,
simple minded males that we are. I mean they control 100% of the
_ _ _ _ _ and 90% of the money, I think that's sort of reverse
discrimination, but of course we've suppressed them for oh so many
years, and it hasn't been until blah blah blah blah blah........


I grow weary of this, IT'S TIME TO DANCE!!!!!."

"I criticize by creation, not by finding
fault."
Cicero

Sorry Ladies
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
This next thread deals with an initial post that was trashing AM
because the Avenger was late or something like that....everyone on RMS
said this guy was way off base. Dan responds and expands on the
phrase "It's time to dance"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/09/22

Re: The AM Debate...

Well, I suppose that makes them "Master Debator's!"

It could happen. Really it could.

"Do you want to pet my monkey?" Go ahead Pet my monkey."
Now "It is time to DANCE."


"Talk happiness. The world is sad enough without your woe."
Orison Sweet Ward
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Mark Cartagine begins joking with Dan and it seems Mark and Dan's
joking leads to the "Arrival" of Mon-key
Date:1996/09/22

> "Do you want to pet my monkey?" Go ahead Pet my monkey."
>Now "It is time to DANCE."

Your comment has made me "as happy as a little girl!" (leer)...

Mark
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/09/23


Re: The AM Debate...

Vell Mark, since you're as happy as a little girl, YOU may pet my
monkey, Go ahead don't be shy, Pet my monkey, There do you feel BETTER
now?.."I grow weary of this IT'S TIME TO DANCE." Come Mark dance with
me."

Dan
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Author: Mark Cartagine
Date:1996/09/23

Dan Winfield wrote:
>
> Re: The AM Debate...
>
> Vell Mark, since you're as happy as a little girl, YOU may pet my
> monkey, Go ahead don't be shy, Pet my monkey, There do you feel BETTER
> now?.."I grow weary of this IT'S TIME TO DANCE." Come Mark dance with
> me."
>
> Dan

Frankly, Dan, I'd rather dance with the monkey!

Mark
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
I would say this is the point that the Mon-key is born but the true
spelling is yet to arrive.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Author: jsthorn
Date:1996/10/09

The latest Scale Modeler magazine has an article on Creature Feature's
Wizard of Oz Flying Monkey resin kit. Can someone provide the
address/phone number for this company?

Thanks,
Jesse
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Re: Flying Monkey
Author: Mark Cartagine
Date:1996/10/09

I believe that Jennings may have some intimate knowledge of flying
monkeys....ask him!

Mark
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Yes....even the Jennings is involved in the arrival of
Mon-key...although only in a very indirect way
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Author: RAY MEHLBERGER
Date:1996/10/09

When your girlfriend runs off and leaves you, is that a flying monkey?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------

Author: Simon Craven
Date:1996/10/10

>The latest Scale Modeler magazine has an article on Creature Feature's
>Wizard of Oz Flying Monkey resin kit. Can someone provide the
>address/phone number for this company?
>
>

Is this the monkey that will fly out of Jennings' butt when Revell
Germany releases an up to date B-737?

Simon Craven
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Here's the first true mention of Mon-key by Dan Winfield Oct 12/96
with the correct spelling....
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Re: Flying Monkey
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/10/12

Re: Flying Mon-key

Mark you have done hideous things to my pet Mon key, now you
sell him into slavery with this Jennings monster, so that he may do
who knows what to him, is it not enough that you have done such a
dreaded thing, I can see you smurk, at me and call me fool, but I
will get revenge, I swear on my ballet teacher's bronzed booties,
that you will pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"We cannot all be master's."
Shakesapeare
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
This next post is from a thread where Dan ponders being adopted by Mr
Tamiya....and reveals the Mon-key uses a tricycle for transporation.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



----------
Re: Tamiya 1/48th scale B-17's
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1997/12/03

>> Dan Winfield writes:
>> >
>> >I wonder if Mr. S. Tamiya would adopt me?
>> >
>> >Dan=B9
>> >
>MIKE AND LAURIE WEST wrote:
>>
>> Now that's just what we need Dan and his Monkey running loose in the
>> Tamiya factory!
>>
>> Shaboom
>RAY MEHLBERGER wrote
>Just imagine the kits that would come out of there afterwards! Talk
>about mutations....hee hee
>
>Ray

Ray

Just what is it you're trying to say about my
Mon-key...........hhhuuummmmm, and he was going to send you a
Christmans card, and what about during the UPS strike, he pedaled his
trike 500 miles out of his way to bring you that Sieran, and pissed
off Mike at Lonestar because he was 4 days late. Shame on you,
so, what are you getting him for Christmans?

Bubba
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan gets back to talking about how much he hates the B-10
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1997/12/07
>> Dan Winfield writes:
>>
>>I've said it once, and I'll say it again, "WILLIAMS B-10B" sucks out
>the butt.
>>And I mean it............................
>>
>>MRLB Dan=3DB9
>>
>
>MIKE WEST wrote:
> Dan, you panzy! You call your self a modeler? If I can build one of
>thes so could you. I bet even the monkey could!
>
> Mike West/Lone Star Models

Mike

You got that right!!! I do build Panzies, Mk II's III's, IV's,
and do you want to know why???? Because of that "Damn WILLIAM'S
B-10B" As for the Mon-key, yeah he did build one, looked pretty good,
until I stuck it up his butt!!!!!! Teach him to zoom that stupid
thing around my head and go ratatatatatatatat. Stupid Mon-key, STUPID
"WILLIAMS B-10B" AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

MRLB Dan=B9

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Hey, how come...? (was Re: Happy Birthday Teri Hatcher!)
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1997/12/10
oxmoron1@aol.com (OXMORON1) wrote:
>Rick DeNatale) writes:
>
>>So yesterday was MY birthday too!
>
>How come none of you guys wished ME a
>>happy birthday?!?
>
>It is the Monkey's fault. He did not update the "Famous Persons Birthday"
list.
>Please accept our belated "Best Wishes". Now we get to ask how old?
>
>Dan, Get on the Monk's case! Errors and Omissions like this can't be
tolerated
>any longer.
>
>Oxmoron1
>Also, everyone missed my birthday earlier this year. Then again who
cares? Mom?


Rick...

My Mon-key has many duties to attend too, he's still paying off
his 1-900- Wet-Monk phone bill, and besides no one ever bothers to say
thank you, kiss my butt, how's Bubba nuthin, they say, "Let the
Mon-key do it!" He remembered my birthday that's all I care about. I
also noticed that Stephen Tonit....what ever is coping out, I suppose
that's my Mon-key's fault too. Well, just for that
I quit too....................

MRLB Dan=B9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1997/12/24

(Some of Dan's long Christmas greeting is snipped)

Oh my Mon-key, he's visiting his mother, Christmas you know, I still
can't figure out how he does that with his feet, and what this bill
from Fredricks of Hollywood is all about......

Well anyway a Merry Christmas to all of you and a very Happy New
Years

Muhammad Rama Lama Bubba, now where's that Prozac.............damn
Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This next thread deals with a fight between Mon-key and
Dan.....couldn't find whole thread to really figure it out....Dan does
introduce the Warrior side in Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/03/30

>> > Gene K wrote:
>>
>> > A diorama of such a grand battle would evoke emotion and also
>> > underscore the underlying futility of man's (and monkee's) existence
>> > -- therefore it would be art!!...er...right?

>Mark Cable wrote
>I feel compelled to point out at this moment that Dan is a dead ringer
for
>Glenn Danzig.
>
>Also, the monkey looks like a cross between Ruth Gordon and Stubby Kaye,
>especially when Dan gets him to wear his little checkered suit.
>
>-Mark
>
>"RMS...where else on the net will you find references to Glenn Danzig and
>Stubby Kaye in the same post?"
>
>--
>-Mark

Mark

I'm giving you fair warning, Mon-key has once again donned his
warpaint and is out the door, ranting about Gordon Stubby or
something, he thought the bit about Danzig was halarious, but you
should have seen the expression change. If you'll lean out the window
a little you'll probably hear him coming down your street with a trail
of LPD's behind him, I think he forgot to hook up the shopping cart
lights to his pedal generator connector before he left.
Good Luck, and may he have mercy on you...............


MRLB Dan

Did you know that the San Francisco Cable cars are the only
mobile National
Mounments?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Casey joins in to tell of Mon-key's traveling side.....as well as
Mon-key's dishonest side
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Casey Armstrong
Date:1998/03/31

Let me tell ALL of you this!
Dan's Mon-key is indeed in Katy, Texas and is engaged in selling
fire and theft insurance for swimming pools. He is also marketing
DED's (Dark emitting diodes) for normally closed switches. He has a
Spam Jerky manufacturing plant in operation.
This precious lil' guy is a model citizen (for Texas) and has
improved the average IQ for the citizens of both Kentucky and Texas by
relocating here. He can be seen on the main thouroughfare of Katy
wearing high-heeled boots, a wide brimmed hat and a scarf (typical
Cowboy garb)
He is instructing at the U of H on Quantum mechanics, and is being
considered for the Alfred E. Newman chair in the Astro Physics
department.
Until you n'er do wells can hang by your tail and build an AM
Avenger, leave him alone! He IS sensitive (and armed!)
Rama Lama Dingh Dongh²
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dan's Mon-key even sends a post to RMS from Casey's house....this is
the first POST from Mon-key to RMS...although it's not actually
written by Dan...that comes later...
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/04/02

"Dan's Mon-Key" wrote:
>Dan good stud! But drink his bath water. (sometimes) He works all day,
>sleeps all night. He makes his lunch, he combs his hair, he goes to the
lava
>tree. Good Lumberjack! Don't want to fight each other. Ever. Sucked
(oops)
>all of you in! April Fool!
>
>Dan's Monkey
>
>
Hey Mon-key

You piece of primate poop, I guess Paul Boyer has got you talked
into wanting a 1/72nd scale trike now, wait till you get home.

Bubba
------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the first Post to RMS from Mon-key and written by Dan
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/04/03
>>
>Penny Thomas wrote:
>I like the keyboard idea. How about the Monkey at the keyboard. *maybe
>glueing the keys together.* I'm no artist so I'll have to find one of
the
>talented riff-raff will have to apply pixel to screen.
>
>Sister Rama Lama Mini Ta Ta
>--
> Penny Thomas

Yeah that's the ticket, he could be our mascot, then everyone could
send him a whole lot of money, and further his education and give him
address's of all of the RMS babes and he could go on tour,
and.......hut hut hut hut hut.....

Dan's Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: VOTE: most wanted 1/35 armor!
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/04/10

>"Larry" Dunn wrote:
>How about a nice OGRE Mark V?
>
>Heh heh.
>
>No more kraut stuff please . . . Israeli Centurion and "Monkey Model"
T-55.
>
>Larry
>
>
Funny you should mention my Mon-key's model of the T-55, he's doing
the old Lindberg T-55 with complete interior, lived in the one at Fort
Knox for two weeks making sketch's free hand of all the finer stuff,
like the roll of toliet paper behind the dry storage racks...........

MRLB Dan=B9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
We learn from Penny that the Mon-key's trike is red.....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Comics imitate life
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/04/17

>MIKE WEST wrote:
>
>> I just saw this in our local paper's comic section.
>>
>> Real Life Toy Instructions: Models
>> 1. Glue big pieces together.
>> 2. Lose interest.
>> 3. Add to collection of other
>> abandoned projects on shelf.
>>
>> Mike West/Lone Star Models

>Penny & Lee Thomas wrote:
>Is Dan's Monkey still in Houston? That little guy - he gets around. Gets
>on that little red three wheeler and zoom! Down the road he goes. I
>guess this explains his attitude. He suffers from AMS like the rest of
>us!
>
>Sister Rama Lama Mini Ta Ta
>Temple Tejas

> Penny Thomas
> IPMS Region Six Coordinator
> 2thomas@onramp.net

Sister Ta Ta

You see that little bugger you tell him to come home now, his
brother and his wife just dropped by because Mon-key promised him
front row seats in the Galt House control room for Thunder over
Louisville, even Bill's willie can't do that. Last anyone saw of him
was in LA where he was strutting around with a pipe and a smoking
jacket signing autographs for writting Lady Chatterlys
Lovers.....................

MRLB Dan=B9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Williams Bros B-10 comes up again at RMS....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/06/27-

>>Doug Kekker wrote:

>>I just bought one, and having seen posts about 'throwing it across the
>>room', I was wondering just what was so bad about it? I mean, it IS a
>>pretty old kit, right? (Mind you, this is just a 'first glance in the
>>box'
>>impression) Does anyone who's got some experience with this beast have
a
>>heads up for some trouble spots?

>>-Doug
>
>Now at bat....... Dan and the MonKey! Have at it, lads...

Sorry Doug I read the previous post about bad reviews before I saw
this one, please refer to "Spoiled Rotten" OK? If you need my
assistance on a step by step guide on what to do with it here goes,
OPEN BOX, insert hand, grab plastic sprues and fling them as hard as
you can across the room, (use caution as the cherrio shaped things
called tires can cause a nasty spill) go to closet remove a different
model, be seated and commence work.

MRLB Dan=B9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Williams Bros. B-10
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/06/28
>> >Just because the Monkey couldn't build the kit doesn't mean we can't!
>Jeez! Give us a break, huh?
>
> Bill Shuey
But, Bill...................

OK, I know there are those of you with the skill and talent to
build the B-10B into a masterpiece, a collectors item, a
Michealangleo, peace day resistance, But I demand equal opportunity to
express my opinions and exercise my 1st Amendment rights as a
Chimpanses/American citizen, and all of you who don't like it
can bite my.................................................

Shut up Mon-key................Sorry guys and gals, I'll try and
keep him off of the keyboard awhile.

MRLB Dan=B9
---------------------------------------------------------------------------



-
Mon-key receives a death threat of sorts....Dan's once again explains
Mon-key's warrior side....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/07/21

>I hear Monkey is good eatin'. I wonder how much gun is needed to hunt
>monkeys? I bet I could wing the b*****d with muh thuty-thuty. Soft
>points, not hollow points, don't wanna damage to much meat. What wine
>goes with monkey?
>
>Frank


Don't come in alone......Frank, we Chimpinese shoot back, winging us
just pisses us off, as a last resort we all gather together and make a
bananazi charge, have you ever tried to hold off a thousand pissed off
Mon-key's, armed to the teeth, bring some banana's, no bring a whole
lot of banana's, it's your only hope. By the way....if you decided to
dine with us, Bring Boonesfarm, the guys love it.

Dan's Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Mon-key's perverted side begins to be exposed....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Title:Re: Nude Pictures of your wife..........FREE!!!!!!!!!
Author: RAY MEHLBERGER
Date:1998/07/29

I just KNOW that Dan's monkey started this thread! Somebody take that
damn polaroid camera away from him. Geeze...that chimp is always
thinking up ways to make money for Dan's styrene habit...not to
mention those blow up female monkey dolls.

Ray Mehlberger
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/07/30

>RAY MEHLBERGER wrote:
>I just KNOW that Dan's monkey started this thread! Somebody take that
>damn polaroid camera away from him. Geeze...that chimp is always
>thinking up ways to make money for Dan's styrene habit...not to mention
>those blow up female monkey dolls.
>
>Ray Mehlberger IPMS/USA #12269
>
Ray I done got some culture, stole some of Dan's Gregorian Chant
CD's (that guy really is a maroon)and his Moe'sart, pour my tallboys
in a mug, and even say excuse me when I fart, pardon me,
flatulate....see, I'm trying to get him to take me to Kansas so I kick
ToeDoes ass, I mean posterior, ta ta

Dan's Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mon-key's attempt with the opposite sex is revealed
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/08/13

To all of you guys that gave me directions and various tips on the
shops in and around Kansas "I thank you" made it to "Waldo's and met
some of the guys, had some chuckles and they made me feel very
welcome.
Mon-key was busy at the pet shop up the street trying to sweet talk a
spider monkey.

Thanks again......

MRLB Dan=B9
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A "female Mon-key" posts to RMS....she even had a Monkey e-mail
address....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: A different monkey
E-Mail:CuteMonkey@tsu.dho.nimz.r.us
Date:1998/08/27

>Dan Winfield wrote:
>
> Don't piss off the Mon-key!
>
> MRLB Dan¹

And why should one not do this? I mean, if we were talking about me,
that would be one thing. But you are talking about The Mon-Key, who
has permanently pissed off all other monkeydom! And appears to be
proud of it!

Besides, he's quite amusing when he gets pissed and can't think
straight.

- A cute little girl monkey who likes to pick on The Mon-Key
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Rent-to-own band instruments online!
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/09/03

>"William H. Shuey" wrote:
>What shall we get the Monkey to play??
>
> Bill Shuey

Dan Winfield wrote:
I bet you guys thought that I was gonna say "Organ" naaaaa, I wanna
play the electric violin.....and if I hear one snicker out there, I'm
gonna send your old lady a couple of Yonni tickets, then we'll see
whos laughin.

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This post is interesting....it's from one of the many newbies that are
trying to figure out the Mon-key story....Dan's Mon-key insteads just
muddies the water some more...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/09/16

>>Yeah. But can someone explain the "monkey" joke? .../Vess
>
>No, no one can explain that.
>

HEY! I got your Mon-key joke right
here...........................after readin all of these weiner post
about "Thumbs" and "Cigars" (teeheehee, jeeezzzz)
if she gets to buggin ya, send her to the store to get a bag full of
cucumbers, a bunch of banana's, send the hoe to her mothers house, let
her cry on her shoulder for awhile, we got menly, manly things to do.
Yeah I know it's the 90's, sure we're more "IN TOUCH" <- that's the
key word, and cognicent of our inner most feelings, but I still can't
help rememberin what my Grandpa Chimp use to say "Hey woman get me
another beer!"

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Special for Dan W. & the Monkey
Author: Steve Bamford
Date:1998/10/12

>Dear Dan, & MK,
>
>Found this today and thought of you:
>
>Quotes taken from an ad in SAMI, V. 4, Issue 9, p. 550:
>
>"Williams brothers have been producing plastic kits and accessories for
>some time and have earned a reputation for originality and meticulous
>quality.....See these superb kits at your local model shop. If they
>have not yet seen the light get them to send for the Williams
>catalogue. You will not be disappointed."
>
>Any comments?
>
>Bwahahahahah!!!
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Mark
>
>To respond, remove the x in the addy....

Steve Bamford wrote:
Well there you have it....it's the easiest kit in the world of the
highest possible standard.......I do believe the gauntlet has been
thrown down....will the Mon-Key accept the challenge? ;->>>


Steve Bamford
Rama Lama Do Da Day
Northen Temple
Canada
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: What kit would you impeach for high crimes and misdemeanors?
Author: Drewe Manton
Date:1998/10/12

>Kurt Plummer writes:
>Damn Smart-Assed Mon-Key's... Dan, I think you need to change the
>computer password again. Then beat that primates butt

Errr Kurt. . .you trying to p**s the monkey off completely?. . .
I always thought that Primates covered the ape family (man,
chimps,gorillas, orang-utans etc.). . . to accuse a monkey of being a
primate may be like accusing Venik of being reasonable! (oops sorry. .
..... wrong NG!<G>) Ahh well. . . . . back to pedants corner for me!
regards
Drewe
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: What kit would you impeach for high crimes and misdemeanors?
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/10/13

> Kurt Plummer writes:
>
>>Damn Smart-Assed Mon-Key's... Dan, I think you need to change the
>>computer password again. Then beat that primates butt

>Drewe Manton wrote;
> Errr Kurt. . .you trying to p**s the monkey off completely?. . . I
always
>thought that Primates covered the ape family (man, chimps,gorillas,
orang-utans
>etc.). . . to accuse a monkey of being a primate may be like accusing
Venik of
>being reasonable! (oops sorry. . . wrong NG!<G>) Ahh well. . . . . back
to
>pedants corner for me!
>regards
>Drewe

OH OH........so you think old Dan's got the password huh?
Welllllll, I can take that Homo Sapien on with both paws tied behind
my back, I carry high the banner of the Chimpinese Nation, we have a
long tradition of being a warrior society, taught from birth the art
of Tie One Ondoe, and Bung Hoe, Even as we speak our forces are
gathering on your borders, the day will be ours...
Huh.....wonder what's on Baywatch? Where's my Pethouse mag at?

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Special for Dan W. & the Monkey
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/10/13

Mark <seiranx@concentric.net> wrote:

>Dear Dan, & MK,
>
>Found this today and thought of you:
>
>Quotes taken from an ad in SAMI, V. 4, Issue 9, p. 550:
>
>"Williams brothers have been producing plastic kits and accessories for
>some time and have earned a reputation for originality and meticulous
>quality.....See these superb kits at your local model shop. If they
>have not yet seen the light get them to send for the Williams
>catalogue. You will not be disappointed."
>
>Any comments?
>
>Bwahahahahah!!!
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Mark
>

Do Dah and Mark......

Who in the Hell wrote that? Stupid A**holes and Mindless
Idiots (SAMI)wait... I stand corrected, it was an article or an ad
posted right? Yeah I've got their meticulous quality right
here......(grabbing crotch), Jeeezzzzz, as soon as the smelling
sauce works, old fuzzy face may have something to say about
seeing the light, and no you won't be disappointed you'll be totally
outraged that you spent hard earned cash on hunks of styrene like the
B-10B, or the C-46, and who in their right mind would issue a kit in
1/53rd scale? Do any of you out there know of any reason why a
company would do that, HELLOOOOOO, DUH,

I tell you what, I, me, Dan's Mon-key am gonna put that B-10B
together, and write a review on it, and show you what a piece of crap
it really is, come on Williams, you guys have got some pretty decent
kits floating around out there, nothing great, but still
marginal......but....hell I'm gonna get me a beer and watch
Matlock......I can't stand this....

Dan's Mon-key
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: Special for Dan W. & the Monkey
Author: Steve Bamford
Date:1998/10/13

Hey Mon-key,
Is this the only kit Dan will let you build or are you trying to show
him up......remember one thing......don't show ol' Dan up too much or
he might not give you the key to his kit vault....

> Do Dah and Mark......
>
> Who in the Hell wrote that? Stupid A**holes and Mindless Idiots
>(SAMI)wait...>I stand corrected, it was an article or an ad posted right?
Yeah I've got
>their meticulous quality right here......(grabbing crotch), Jeeezzzzz,
as
>soon as the smelling sauce works, old fuzzy face may have something to
say about
>seeing the light, and no you won't be disappointed you'll be totally
outraged
>that you spent hard earned cash on hunks of styrene like the B-10B, or
the C-46,
>and who in their right mind would issue a kit in 1/53rd scale? Do any of
you
>out there know of any reason why a company would do that, HELLOOOOOO,
DUH,
>
> I tell you what, I, me, Dan's Mon-key am gonna put that B-10B
together,
>and write a review on it, and show you what a piece of crap it really is,

>come on Williams, you guys have got some pretty decent kits floating
around
>out there, nothing great, but still marginal......but....hell I'm gonna
get
>me a beer and watch Matlock......I can't stand this....
>
>Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Model Kits
Author: Andrew & Cathy Irving
Date:1998/10/19


> >>The Hell with your models, I want your women.........and any loose
> >>change.......
> >Dan's Mon-key

> >Uh Uh, Like I'll just take loose women.
> >
> >
> >DAVE ROOF
> >SSGT USMC

> Hummmm, I guess I could just use the change......

Hah, rather play with your monkey eh!

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: Model Kits
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/10/19


Hummmm, I guess I could just use the change......
>>Andrew Irving

> Hah, rather play with your monkey eh!
>
What? And miss all of the fun, I meant to say, I guess I could use
"A" Change, Naaaaa, my Mon-key handles himself pretty well in most
situations, don't need
me to interfer......


MRLB Dan=B9
Did you know that there's a small tribe in
southern India called the Todas that don't
greet each other by a handshake, they thumb
their noses."
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: Williams Brothers
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/10/27

>"Steve L. New" wrote:
>As if the Geese weren't bad enough, do we have to start looking out for
1/53
>scale monkey droppings coming out of the clouds?
>
>The sky is falling, the sky is falling...
>
>Steve L. New

>Maiesm72 wrote in message...
>>Dan
>>
>>LOOK OUT!
>>
>>Your Mon-key just e-mailed me and wanted to get on of the Electras.
>>
>>Gift wrapped in Curious George paper, yet.
>>
>>Tom
>
Shhhhhhhh, he ain't suppose to know about it, I figure as much as he
likes the B-10, he'll just love a Williams collectors item like the
Electra, it'll go nicely above his bed at VA hospital, it's just below
the wacky ward where all the lesser fortunate of us have a tendency to
express themselves by jumping up and down, I can just picture it now,
just as he wakes up for his corn flakes and orange, BAM right between
the eyes.......I love it......

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
More threats to Mon-keys well being.....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: why put on ebay?
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/11/10



>Mark wrote:
>Dan Winfield wrote:
>Because my C-bays don't fit anymore........hardy
>har har har......hey look over
>there.....stomp.......what a maroon
>
>Dan's Mon-key
>DM,
>
>There are places in the world that serve live monkey brains for dinner.
>A one-way trip over there could be arranged.&nbsp; Just think about that
>before you stomp anyone else...(though in your case, I expect the ol'
brains
>wouldn't make much of a meal.)
>
>Mark
>
>SOMEBODY had to put the chimp in his place!

>
OH OH, wait till the Humane Society hears about that, threatening an
endangered species, ummmmm ummmmmm ummmmmmmm.....now why in the world
would anybody want to harm a single hair on my flat head, I'm
destroyed, my life has no porpuse any more, I'm immortalized, crushed,
OH WOE IS ME, WOOOOOEEEEE IS ME......hey I got my invitation to the
IPMS Nat's next year, and guess who I'm sitting by at the
banquet..........you got it, next to you, I guess you really put me in
my place.

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Re: why put on ebay?
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1998/11/11
>> Mark writes:
>> OH OH, wait till the Humane Society hears about that, threatening an
endangered
>> species, ummmmm ummmmmm ummmmmmmm.....
>
>Ever wonder *how* Mon-keys got to be endangered? Because they're
>smart-asses! The gorilla is noble, the orangutan is gentle, the baboon
>is powerful, but what is the chimp? Short, squat, ugly, bad-tempered,
>and with a tendency to drink and smoke too much. Not much of a loss
>there, pal!

I know you are, but what am I........OK....I admit, I'm not much to
look at, bad-tempered maybe, I stunted my growth smokin too much, and
I got peretuially glazed eyes..............but it's all Dan's fault, I
was happy do my Mime Impressionalistic dancing in Central
Park.......that's right, I was a bright young Chimp with a promising
future, sad, SAD indeed, now aren't you ashamed of yourself?
>
>now why in the world would anybody want
>> to harm a single hair on my flat head, I'm destroyed, my life has no
porpuse
>> any more, I'm immortalized,
>
>Immortalized? Maybe I could have you bronzed - you'd sure be immortal
>(or at least well-preserved) then, wouldn't you?

More of this torture, is there no end to this, OH the inhumanity of
it all.. Please spare me I can't take it anymore.....
>
>Oh, ugh! You're not housebroken, are you? Then again, neither is Dan,
>from what I hear, so that's not *your* fault. By the way, if you do sit
>beside me, bring the ballet slippers and wear a nice gown -- you
>couldn't look (or act) much worse than some of my dates.

This is blasphemy, poor old Dan, he can barely see, needs a walker
has, a pacemaker, has to drink his own urine, his children hate him,
even the homeless turn their backs on him, at Christmas the fire
department turns their hoses on his cardboard house, the garbage men
are always throwing him in the back of their trucks, he once got hit
by a car on his beat up old bike, and EMS carted the bike off leaving
him in the street.....Ballet slippers, Nice gown....what time should I
expect you?
>
>
>Geez, what's wrong with me? I'm in a battle of wits with a monkey?!


Hey what's that on your shirt? Flip!!!! Works everytime.....

Dan's Mon-key
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is the first mention of crotch grabbing....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Re: Olive Drab and Neutral Gray-Revisitted
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/09/26


Re: Olive Drab and Nuetral Gray-Revisited

I thought for a second there, Michael Jackson, had inflicted
himself on us. Hummmmmmmm Hummmmmm spin, crotch grab, spin etc.....
....................

Dan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
This is the first time Dan did crotch grabbing on RMS...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/10/02
Re: Read this:

READ THIS!!!!!!!!(Grabbing crotch), indian sign language I'm told.

Dan
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
In this thread Dan is into full swing with the crotch grabbing....and
tells the nit pickers where to go....ATTA BOY DAN!!!!!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title; Spelling police
Author: George Nock
Date:1996/10/10


>Van Stewart wrote:

>>At the risk of being torpedoed by folks who don't care about such
things,
>>please let me point out the difference between the words "lose" and
>>"loose". "Lose" means to misplace or fail to keep. "Loose" means not
>>tight or not taut. I've seen these two words in a number of posts being

>>horribly interchanged, e.g., "I hate to loose a part in a shag carpet".

>>I just couldn't take it anymore. Sorry that I lost it.

>>Van Stewart

>>Lover of modeling and words

>C.R. Krieger wrote
>VAN!

> I read your post headline and I thought it was about a move to arrest
>Aaron and Tori for making all those Godawful TV shows. DAMN!
> Don't lead us on like that.

>C.R. Krieger


Boy you would have afield day with my posts my dawg and kat and all
my armour or is that armor hot dawg

George Nock
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/10/11
Re: Spelling Police

Spell this!!!!!!!!!!......................(Grabbing crotch):-o

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAhahahahahahahhahaha, snicker, chortal,

Sorry folks lost it again.

"The glow of one warm thought is to me
worth more than money."
Thomas Jefferson

Dan


------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Nick Kiriokos
Date:1996/10/11
>Dan Winfield wrote:
>Re: Spelling Police
>
> Spell this!!!!!!!!!!......................(Grabbing crotch):-o
>
>OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAhahahahahahahhahaha, snicker, chortal,
>
>Sorry folks lost it again.

OH MY GOD! He lost his crotch! Hmph. Guess there's no need to get up
from the workbench now is there? :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: Jeff Wilson
Date:1996/10/11


>Re: Spelling Police
>
> Spell this!!!!!!!!!!......................(Grabbing crotch):-o
>
>OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAhahahahahahahhahaha, snicker, chortal,
>
>Sorry folks lost it again.
>
> "The glow of one warm thought is to me
> worth more than money."
> Thomas Jefferson
>
>Dan

Whilst we're on the subject Dan, it's "chortle" *not* "chortal".

Sheesh... : )

Jeffrey Spencer Wilson
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author: RAY MEHLBERGER
Date:1996/10/11


> >Dan Winfield wrote:
> >Re: Spelling Police
> >
> > Spell this!!!!!!!!!!......................(Grabbing crotch):-o
> >
> >OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAhahahahahahahhahaha, snicker, chortal,
> >
> >Sorry folks lost it again.
> >
> > "The glow of one warm thought is to me
> > worth more than money."
> > Thomas Jefferson
> >
> >Dan

>Jeff Wilson wrote:
> Whilst we're on the subject Dan, it's "chortle" *not* "chortal".
>
> Sheesh... : )
>
> --
> Jeffrey Spencer Wilson

Spelling? We don't do no spelling? We don't hafta do no steeeenking
spelling!!

RAY MEHLBERGER
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Author: Dan Winfield
Date:1996/10/12
Re: Spelling Police

Thanks Jeffery, it was............how do I explain it.............
UUUhhhhhhhhhh, Chortle on this a while..................(grabbing
crotch) OOHH hahahahahahahahaha, oh by the way, how come I keep
getting an error message (no DNS blah, blah blah) when I try your
site???? HHHuuummm come on you can tell me, who else will know? I
did, get the Tamiya Corsair, great kit, and How about them Reds?

"He who scarifices his conscience to

ambition burns a picture to
obtain the ash."

How, Profound
Dan
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author: PNMoss
Date:1996/10/09


> I just couldn't take it anymore. Sorry that I lost it.

Didn't you mean to say, "Sorry that I loosed it?" :)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------


Steve Bamford
Rama Lama Do Dah Day
Offical Temple Historian
Grand Creator of :-þ on RMS
Northern Temple
Canada

And what does Rama Lama mean?.....Well that story is for another day......